COVID-19 Possession Schedule when School Closes

By | Co-Parenting, Custody and Conservatorship, Divorce, Uncategorized, Unsolicited Opinions

Parents – Here’s what to do about possession schedules that are contingent on the “school calendar”. Above all, show your children that you are prepared for anything, including COVID-19 and that you and their other parent have it under control. Hoard all the toilet paper you want, but do NOT lose it when it comes to sharing your child.

1. Be advised that there is not a Judge on the bench who would not want you and your co-parent to work out the exchanges so that each parent has the same amount of time with the child they would have had had school not been cancelled.

2. Do not make any unilateral decision without FIRST calling, texting and or reaching out to your co-parent via Our Family Wizard. Actually make a genuine effort to figure out the solution on your own. Be creative, share babysitters, adjust.

3. For schedules that begin and end when school starts and ends – pick up and drop off at the locations specified in the section of your order that says “General Terms and Conditions”.

4. If you had spring break possession for even years, return the kids Sunday night or Monday morning when school was supposed to resume but didn’t due to a national emergency.

5. For the parents that typically have the children during the school week, surrender your child to your co-parent at the next exchange period had there not been a school closure. This exchange is most likely Thursday, March 19, 2020, in the afternoon and a return the next day or that evening depending upon whether or not there is an expanded standard or non-expanded standard schedule.

6. When it comes to exchange times and locations, be bendy. Do not insist that it be at 3:00 pm (the time school ordinarily releases) or at 7:30 am (when school begins). Work around each other’s schedules. This means offer to exchange at the babysitter’s house or share family members that are willing to provide child care. Heck – offer the kids to the parent who is working from home during the outbreak.

7. What you do now will not waive any rights to your status as a litigant. What you do now will define the extent you will go to protect your child from the instability that this crisis presents us. Judges will notice one way or the other.

8. Give your co-parent the benefit of the doubt. People are going to have terrible tone, and they may lash out. These are coping mechanisms and its not about you. Just allow everyone to panic a bit so they can recover and move on.

Anonymous Post From a Client About Being a Stepmom

By | Client Posts, Co-Parenting, Unsolicited Opinions

Background: This anonymous post comes from a client’s wife who unconditionally loves her step son despite being sidelined by the system and the dynamic in which the child came into the world. Here are her unfiltered thoughts:

“What qualities make a stepmom worthy of praise and satisfaction? We have done an extreme injustice to stepmoms in this country. The boundaries of what we should and shouldn’t do are so lost. No one has an answer that feels good. Thanks to Cinderella we stepmoms have a stigma attached that may never go away. People dismiss us all the time! You’re the only one willing to sacrifice and call into work to take your sick stepson to the doctor because God forbid a man calls into work in our corporate world for a “sick kid”, and God forbid his “real” mom takes time away from her needs to do it. And no one says thanks or acknowledges a damn bit of what you do. He needs an allergist, you’re the only one who spends enough time with him to even know he needs an allergist. He needs to work on a project for school and you’re the only one who reminds him or is invested in his grades. He needs new clothes because he hit a growth spurt and you’re the only one who will spend the money or the time to take him. Better yet you’re the only one who noticed he grew out of his clothes. The “real” mom wants the dad to “supply” all his needs. Meanwhile she’s doing happy hours, pedicures, shopping, dating, etc. The dad wants his child support to “supply” his needs. Unless he spent his life savings winning custody. In that case the “real” mom has the whole world feeling sorry for her and giving her monetary handouts. Please. If you lost custody especially in the state of Texas then bet your booty you are not a good mother. Yet as a stepmom you are supposed to go above and beyond to be the most consistent, loving, patient mom of all time. This sounds like a job no one wants hu? I have a secret. I love the job! Guess what sweet child will remember who was always there for them? And for doctors visits? And traditions? And cookies at school for the winter party? And money for the book fair? And prescription refills? It’s me. While everyone else is tallying and hateful I’m making beautiful memories with a handsome young man who will always respect me and love me and trust me no matter what. You simply can’t beat that with your corporate job or your stupid meaningless words. Kids see action and they will always remember who was really there. I’m changing the life of a child and that is something no one can take away or even compete with.”